


The Temple of Just Guys Bein' Dudes

by BouncyOrb



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: M/M, Temple of Procreation (Red vs. Blue)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-25
Updated: 2020-01-25
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:47:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 731
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22395781
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BouncyOrb/pseuds/BouncyOrb
Summary: The Temple of Procreation is activated, and all Grif wants to do is take a nap.
Relationships: Dexter Grif/Dick Simmons
Comments: 7
Kudos: 154





	The Temple of Just Guys Bein' Dudes

The Temple of Procreation was a a pain in the neck. Grif watched as everybody ran into the streets, tearing off their armor, he just wanted to take the longest nap ever after their fight with Hargrove. Unfortunately, every bed, couch, table, or any other horizontal surface he could find was occupied. He walked through the Fed base and tried to find a place to sleep. He came across a closet that he couldn’t hear anybody in. He leaned his ear against the door to make sure. No noise, perfect nap spot, he thought. He opened the door and stepped in, but he didn’t see there was actually somebody already hiding in there. His one step brought him inches away from Simmons’ face.

“AH!” Simmons shouted and jumped back.

“Dude! Don’t yell right in my face.” Grif said, covering an ear.

“What are you doing?” Simmons asked.

“I knew you’d be hiding out somewhere. I’m trying to find a place to nap. What are you doing?”

“Are you kidding me? They’re like animals out there! I nearly had to fight a crowd off of me to get here.”

“Yeah, I bet the whole planet is dying to get their hands all over you.” Grif said, maybe saying too much. “So can I come in or what?”

Simmons ran through a few different insulting options in his head before sighing and motioning for Grif to step in. It was a big supply closet, so there actually was room for them both. Grif sat down on a box of cleaning supplies and Simmons leaned against a shelf with tools on it.

“So what, you don’t wanna be out there with everyone else?” Simmons asked.

“I could ask the same to you.” Grif said. “This temple thing just…” he looked away from Simmons. “It doesn’t have any effect on me.”

“What?” Simmons asked. “What do you mean no effect? It’s an ancient alien space magic aphrodisiac, how could it just not have an effect on you?”

“You realize you basically just admitted to having a boner right now.” Grif said dryly.

“Wh- no!” Simmons said, turning away from Grif slightly. “I just… you can’t… nothing!”

“Oh please, Simmons, we lived together in Blood Gulch for years. I’m sure you’ve had a boner around me before.”

“I guess you’re right. So it’s not weird then?”

“Aha! So you do have a boner!”

“Goddammit Grif!” Simmons shouted, turning away again.

Grif laughed at Simmons for a moment before leaning back in his chair.

“Y’know as soon as Tucker turned on the fuck temple, I pictured you having a nervous breakdown over girls giving you any attention at all. I knew you would find some place to hide from everybody.”

“You… what?” Simmons said.

“Yup. All day while I’m trying to find a place to nap, I kept thinking, this is gonna be the room Simmons is hiding in. Lo and behold, here you are, in my nap spot.”

“So you’re telling me that as soon as the temple turned on, you were thinking about me all day.”

Grif’s smile turned blank.

“Wha- no, that’s not what I meant.”

“Sounds like the temple had some kind of effect on you, Grif.” Simmons teased.

“Whatever man, it’s not like I don’t think about you a bunch anyway.” Grif said crossing his arms.

“What?”

“What?”

“You just said-”

“I didn’t say anything.”

“Grif, you-”

“I didn’t say anything Simmons!” Grif said, trying to end the conversation.

Simmons leaned back against the shelf. He looked at Grif, staring straight ahead into the wall. Simmons took a deep breath and closed his eyes.

“Me too.”

“You too what?”

“I also… think about you… a bunch.”

Grif didn’t turn to face him.

“It’s just the temple, Simmons.”

“Maybe it’s not.”

“Simmons you just said-”

“It’s the temple of procreation, not the temple of attraction. We can’t make a baby, so the temple wouldn’t have any effect on us anyway.”

“We can make babies Simmons.”

“Not with each other.”

Grif swung his head around to look at Simmons. He was looking right back at him. That was odd, Grif thought, he never makes eye contact, he hates it.

“You never make eye contact, you hate it.” Grif said, confused.

“I don’t hate you.”

Grif stared at Simmons for a few seconds. He stood up, keeping eye contact with Simmons. Grif locked the door.


End file.
